I'm sorry, I've got plans

I'm a planner. Excel & I are in an intimate relationship. I create to-do lists & experience unimaginable joy watching my progress as I skillfully accomplish & cross of each task. I feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that I have measurable success. If I'm feeling particularly uninspired, I write a list that includes tasks I've already accomplished & cross them off so that I can reassure myself that I am truly moving forward. I plan meal charts & grocery lists & exercise charts &budgets & even create travel itineraries that factor in Starbucks stops & meal locations. I like to know where I'm going & I need to have a plan of how I'm getting there.

The problem is, life can't be planned. Believe me, I've tried. But no matter how hard I try to create a spreadsheet for my life, it's never right. The route keeps changing, the tasks are unclear, I check one item off the list only to see a million more items show up. I plan for life to head one direction & instead it travels like a freight train out of control in another. I determine purposefully that I am going to accomplish a certain thing & that thing suddenly vanishes in front of me like a building that's swallowed up by a sinkhole.

The more time passes, the more panicked I become. I'm probably at least halfway through my time here on earth & my spreadsheet seems to be filled with incomplete tasks. I look back on my childhood dreams & goals & see so few of them actually realized. I want to live a life of significance & be a person of influence, yet most days my greatest accomplishments include getting out of bed, going to work & making dinner. Where am I headed? How did I get here?

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

Anyone can make plans.

“But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Psalm 33:11

No one can override the plans of the LORD.

“Then Job replied to the LORD: ‘I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.’ ” Job 42:1-2

Whose plans do I want to follow?

I think it's time to crumple my to-do list & break up with Excel. Sorry Excel, I've got plans & they're not with you. "Hello, God - what do YOU want to do today?"